You're Crazy!

We know a lot of people who are adopting right now.  I am amazed at what God is doing in the people at our church.  He has drawn so many people to this process of adoption, and despite all the hardships that come with international adoption they are all following His calling for their family.  But even with this 'adoption culture' people are still amazed that we are adopting.  Or maybe they are amazed that we want to adopt four kids!

We have heard so many different things about God's calling for us to adopt four kids.  Below are just a few of my favorite.  I hope some of them at least make you smile! :)

   1. Four?  Like, you want to have a total of four kids, or you want to adopt four more kids?
Really, this is the standard response I have heard.  I guess I understand part of the question/response.  I mean, it is true that we already have three kids, and if we adopt a child we will have four.  And honestly, this is what I was thinking when I started thinking about adoption again.  Four is an even number, so that is good, right?
I have learned over the past few years that our plans are not always the best.  I have heard it said (many times) that if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.  Our plans always sound good to us, but God is so much greater than our plans.  And to that point, His plans for me are so much greater than anything I could think up, which my entire life can attest to!  So, here is the reality:  I planned to adopt one child, but God called our family to pursue four more children.

  2. You're adopting?!  Wow, you're such nice people.
 I really do not know how to respond to this one.  I mean, Thanks, I guess.  The reality is, we are not nice people.  We are depraved human beings, just like the rest of the world.  Scripture is pretty clear that all men are sinners.  The Truax family is not exempt from that.  We are not any better than anyone else.  There is a difference though:  we are being obedient to God's call in our lives.  So, I guess the response to people with this reaction is:  We're not nice, we're obedient. 
*Something that I would like to note here is that we are not adopting out of 'Christian obligation'.  We do not think that this is something that we have to do as Christians.  However, we do know that scripture is pretty clear that the Follower is to take care of widows and orphans.  This can look different for every person.  Not all families are called to adopt, but all are called to help take care of orphans.  Maybe you are one of those families.  You can help take care of orphans by helping those that are called to adopt.  You can support them through prayer and encouragement.  Believe me, these go a long way!

  3. What are you going for, a baseball team?
Umm, yes.  That was exactly our intent when we answered God's call!  I am sure that is what He had in mind to.  Maybe we can talk to the MLB and see if we can set up the Truax franchise baseball team.  We'll start marketing memorabilia next week! 
Really, I think what is happening here is that people are poking fun at us.  Oh well!

   4. You're adopting?!  That is great.  I wish I could adopt.  We are just not ready yet.
Honestly, you are never ready to adopt.  If you put off adoption until you are ready, it will never happen.  Adoption takes a lot of faith.  When you adopt you bring into your life a life.  You introduce a child into your established family...no one is ready for that.
That does not mean that you should not prepare for adoption.  I can not tell you how many people we have talked to and sought council from.  We have read more blogs than I'd like to admit, and we have books coming out of the wazoo. We have been saving money and researching fundraising ideas.  We have talked with our parents, who are also researching and fundraising with us (our parents are such a blessing to us!).
No one is ready, but if God is calling you to adopt you really should start the process.  And remember, because of that wonderful thing called the Hague Convention, international adoption takes years!

   5. Four?  You're crazy!
I guess it is a good thing that my blog is titled Faithfully Crazy.  I mean, I was crazy once...
I think I have said it a time or two, but we know that God is calling us to adopt four kids.  We had to learn when we were getting out of the Air Force that some people just do not understand this.  Over two years ago now we felt God calling us to get out of the military.  He was calling us to give up the security of a paycheck, medical care, retirement, a house, and so many other things, and to trade all of it for an uncertain job market and no house.  It was hard to follow that call.  We prayed about it for a long time, and time and time again He would faithfully reaffirm His call for us.  Here it is, two years later, and I cannot count the blessing that God has given us because we obeyed Him.
I know what people are saying.  I get it!  When people say something like this to us, what they mean (I think) is that it is going to be incredibly hard to bring home four kids and integrate them into our family.  If you are one of those people who said this (or maybe just thought it), I want to thank you.  I know that you are concerned for us, and for the kids that we are going to be bringing home.  I also know that God has given us an amazing support system here and back in the states.  He would not call us to this journey if He did not know that we could do it.
Or, maybe they actually think that we are crazy...

90 Days and Counting

Yesterday we had our first meeting with our social worker.  This meeting took an hour and a half and it was almost completely about paperwork.  Things that we will have to fill out and things that we will have to get done some time in the next 90 days.  It was a bit overwhelming looking at everything that we will have to do on such a short time table.  When we were looking at the things that take 6-8 weeks to complete we quickly realized that we really need to start on this stuff like....last week.

The meeting with our social worker was actually quite pleasant.  I was worried that we were going to have to fight with her and constantly try to demonstrate the right 'image' in front of her in order to get her to write the right things on the home study.  But, based on our initial meeting, we are really feeling like things are going to go as planned.  It is funny how quickly we doubt what God has called us to do.  The call from the Lord was so clear that it kicked us into action immediately, and as soon as things were looking like they might be hard we began to question and compromise the calling.

We know that God is calling us to adopt four children from the Philippines, and as soon as we thought about the possibility that we might not get approved by our social worker for four children, we compromised.  "Maybe God was just trying to get us moving, and we should just try for siblings sets from 2-4" we thought.  God confirmed His calling to us with our social worker.  Everything looks like we are going to be approved for up to four kids!

So here is the process:
We have 90 days to get all 32 items on our checklist.
Once we have everything together, we will have a homestudy.  This is a series of interviews and home visits, where the social worker observes our life.
Once we are done with the interviews and home visits, we wait for the social worker to write her report.  This takes a couple of weeks, as the report can be 20 pages long.
Once the report is written, we get together some more information and put together our dossier.  I am not really sure how long this part takes.
Once our dossier is prepared, we send it in to be authenticated and approved.
Once it is approved we wait to be matched with our kids.  We will be adopting off of the special homes findings list, so on this step we get to 'pick' our kids.
Once we 'pick' our kids, the agency sends everything to ICAB, where they will match our family with said children (hopefully).
Once we are matched, we then wait for the Filipino government to get together all the paperwork and visas and what-not.  This part can take up to six months.
Once all that is done, we head to the PI to pick up our kids.
In all, we are looking at 16-24 months before we can bring home our children.

For all this to happen, we have to get step one done.  As our 90 day countdown begins we are left with a lot of responsibility.  We not only have a ton of paperwork to complete, we have a ton of money to raise.  This is something that we cannot do on our own, as it is literally my entire yearly salary to pay for this adoption.  Gretchen is starting a home based business to help raise funds, which our prayer is that it will generate a significant amount of income (isn't that everyone's prayer?).  On top of that, we would love if our friends and family (really anyone else, too) would join us and help raise these funds.  If you would like to give, please click  here.  You could also share this link with all of your fiends, as they may be looking for some way to help out.

If you cannot help financially, we understand!  But there is something that you could do.  Prayer is an amazingly powerful tool that we have, and we would love if you would pray for us.  Not only pray for this adoption, but also pray for our kids that are not home with us yet.  We need this entire process to be covered in prayer, and each of you can help with that.

I leave you with a picture of our family.  Imagine how this photo will look with four beautiful Filipino faces in there with us.  You can help bring our kids home.

No Wonder it is Called 'PaperWORK'

I have learned that the most discouraging thing when it comes to international adoption is the cost.  Honestly, I am right there with you.  It looks overwhelming.  I do not know many, if any, people who happen to have $35k just sitting around.  To be honest again, you will get over the cost.  You will realize that there are a ton of grants and fundraising opportunities out there to help you raise funds.  Also, when you realize that the average American pays this amount for a car, you will see it as a little more handleable.  If the cost is really something you cannot get over, please send me a message and I will talk with you about your options.

There is something that I cannot get over.  It seems like someone out there thought it would be a good idea to discourage international adoption by the cost, and then, just in case not everyone was turned away, then comes the paperwork.

Let's take a look at a couple things that must be done...

1. Criminal background check.  This process is not as easy as it sounds.  You must have fingerprints done and sent in to the FBI.  After that, it take 6-8 weeks to get the results back.  So, if you mess up on the fingerprints the first time, double that.  Oh yea, they expire every 18 months (silly, right?).  Recommendation:  Get your fingerprints done professionally, twice!  Send it two sets, just in case.
2. Child abuse and neglect checks.  These have to be done for every state you have lived in since turning 18.  If you have only ever lived in one town, this might be a little easier, but for a military family, this sucks!  I have lived in 3 states and two countries over the last 10 years.  Wouldn't the FBI criminal background check cover this?
3. Original marriage and birth certificates.  For a family that has moved around a lot, this could be an issue.
4.  Tax returns.  They want a copy of the first page of your last three tax returns.  But, they also want proof of earned income for the last 10 years.  To prove that, they want the first three pages of your last 10 years tax return.  These are two separate things...again, silly.
5.  Copies of any previous home studies.  For families that have adopted or fostered before, this sucks.  We have had a few home studies done...I think I know where we put those.

So, these are just a few things that have been irritating me.  I really thought that once we got over the money thing, we would be in the clear.  I mean, our first adoption went so quick... HA!  I've learned that no two adoptions are the same.  Even if you follow in our exact footprints, it will be different for you.

Some things that have been encouraging:
I have spent a lot of time in the Word lately.  John 14:18 says "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."  Jesus is telling His followers that when He leaves, not only will He send the Holy Spirit to comfort us, He will also return.  This has been encouraging to me on many fronts.  I have felt a great burden for our kids that are not at home with us yet.  Kids that we have had to leave because we have not adopted them yet.  I have stressed about where they are sleeping and weather or not anyone has told them that they are loved.  Then, I am comforted, knowing that Jesus too had to leave us.  We can say the same words that He did:  "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."  In that same chapter of John Jesus says "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you".  The truth is, Christ alone is our peace, even in this time of stress.

Some of our good friends were able to bring home their daughters this week.  I was there when mom arrived  to surprise the girls, and I was also there when the girls were told that they have a family.  We have walked through this journey with them, and it seemed long at the time.  Looking back, I am encouraged because the whole ordeal was worth it.  I look at them and think that one day, hopefully in the near future, that family will be us.  And all of you can say the same things I just said.

The Waiting 'Game'

Have you ever waited for a pot of water to boil?  I mean, it sounds so simple.  Boiling water is quick and easy, that is, until you watch it happen.  Then, the six minute process feels like eternity.  After a could minutes you begin to see little bubbles forming on the bottom of the pan, and you think "we're almost there!" and then, nothing.  A few minutes later a little more hope, but still no boiling water.  Honestly, I typically get impatient and I put whatever I needed to cook into the water early.  I am not known for my patience.

When we adopted Henry the lady we were working with probably hated me.  I told Gretchen all the time that she needed to call and check in on the process.  I wanted to know where we were and what was going on.  I probably told her to call several times a day.  Sometimes I would tell her to call a couple hours after she got off the phone with them.  Some things never change.

Now I can't call the adoption agency every day (thanks to the time change, something I am sure AAI is thankful for!).  Now, each night I sit by my computer and wait for an email.  To me, it feels a lot like waiting for that water to boil, only on this I cannot cheat and start early.  Well, last night we got an email, and we have a small reason to celebrate.

Next week we will have our initial meeting with our social worker.  She is going to explain everything to us about the home study process.  Our prayer is that at this meeting we will be given some things that we can do to help us pass the time, such as finger prints, mental evaluations, physicals, FBI background checks, you know, all the things we know we have to get done but we cannot do yet...boiling water.

God is amazing though.  This lady goes to our church.  She said about 75% of the people that she is currently working with are associated with Koza in one way or another.  I have been amazed at the things God is doing at and through Koza.  A culture of adoption is something we have been praying about for a long time now.  It something that we do not want to stop.  If any of you are interested in adoption, let me know.  I will talk with you and help explain the process as best as I can.

Please continue to pray for us, as we hope to begin fundraising soon.  We are waiting on some paperwork from AAI before we can officially begin, but Gretchen has been working through a billion fundraising ideas.  God bless, and please continue to sit by your computer waiting on a update from us...waiting for the water to boil. :)

Called

A few years ago my wife and I felt the call to adopt.  We knew that God was telling us to adopt, but we didn't do anything about it.  We would constantly run into people who had adopted or were in the process of adoption, but we kept putting it off.  The more we put it off, the more we felt God calling us to start the process.  Finally, after running from it for a long time, we started the process.  The adoption process with Henry felt hard and stressful.  We would go days without phone calls, and it felt like eternity.  About 4 months after we started the adoption we were placed with our beautiful son.

Fast forward a couple years... After going to the Philippines a couple of times on missions trips I started feeling the call again.  I was drawn to Filipino children, but I had heard that if we were trying to adopt from the PI we should not travel there, as it would hinder the adoption process (silly Hauge Convention).  I did not want to stop going on missions trips to the PI, so I put off adoption.  I LOVED being there and serving the people there.  I did not want to give that up (there are a lot of I's there, aren't there?)

Fast forward again, this time to a couple of months ago.  I had a dream about some kids that I know in the PI.  They were being adopted to a forever family.  Normally, this is a time of great celebration, but for some reason I was very sad.  These four kids were going home to their family, and I was sad.  When the youngest asked why I was crying, I told her that it was because I was happy for her, but I knew that was not the reason.  I was sad because someone else was adopting these kids.  These four particular kids were not even available for adoption.  They were living in an orphanage because their mother could not take care of them.  God is using them to get me to move.  I know that somewhere out there God has my kids.  They are waiting on us to move forward with the adoption.  So, we did.
     We put in our application to adopt with Adopt Abroad Inc the other night.  We are stepping out on faith.  We do not have the money together, but we know that we cannot wait any longer.  The application is in, and I will keep you all updated throughout the process.