While the Wife is Away

A couple of years ago, long before the thought of adopting more children was on our mind, my wife went out of town for 10 days.  When we were planning the trip I asked her to take Henry, our youngest with her, mostly because I wasn't sure how I would cope without her to help me.  She kindly obliged and left me at home with the oldest two kiddos.  After a couple days of her being gone I realized that I actually had no idea how hard it was to be a homemaker.

Fathers:  take note.  This is something that you need to do at least once.  Not only does this give you and idea what it is like to be the full time homemaker, it lets your wife know that you care about her enough to let her have some time away.

Well, fast forward to these past couple weeks.  It is now the third time I have been home with the kids with no adult supervision (I'm the fourth child in our house right now), this time with all three kids.  The older two are in school most days, so a lot of my time is spent with just me and Henry.  I am learning the same old lessons over again:  parenting is hard work, and to be expected to keep up with the house work on top of that is...well, a nightmare.  By the time the kids go to bed, I just want to put my feet up and watch a movie.  The last thing I want to do is the dishes and laundry.  But, after making the wrong choice on those things once (okay, maybe a couple times), and waking up to a stinky kitchen or kids who don't have clean underwear, I've learned to think better.

Gretchen, enjoying some well deserved time away

It took me a little while to get into a routine.  Waking up early and making breakfast, then waking the kids up to have them eat while I make lunches.  Taking them to the bus and returning home to get ready for work, which also means getting Henry ready.  Going to work and trying to get stuff done while parenting.  Making sure I am at the bus in time to get the kids.  Making dinner and getting the kids ready for bed.  There is simply no room in there to fold clothes!  I am blessed with an amazingly smart wife.  She read somewhere, and decided to implement this laundry plan where all she does is sort the clothes.  The kids each are responsible for putting away their own clothes.  This has saved my life these past few weeks!

Looking back at my time with the kids, I would says it was awesome.  It was a lot of hard work, but I had so much time with our kids, time I don't normally have.  I am awesomely blessed with an amazing wife, who allows me to do things like this.  All that said...I don't know what it is going to look like when we have 7 kids.  I mean, life was great with just me and the kids, but it was also hard.  I may have to call in reinforcements...Grandma's beware!  I may also think twice about going away and leaving Gretchen and the kids at home...

Revenge of the Fifth

May 5th.  Cinco de Mayo.  Kodomo no hi.  Each of these days mean different things to our family...some more important than others.  No matter which way you look at it, May 5th is very significant to our family.

Kodomo ni hi is Children's Day in Japan.  It is part of Golden Week and it is a huge celebration.  Every year, on the fifth day of the fifth month there are huge festivities and parties to celebrate kids.  For weeks, and sometimes months leading up to this day you see these Carp flags flying around Japan.  It really is an amazing sight.

The blue ones are for the boys in your family, and the pink are for the girls.  Each family typically flies one for each child outside their house.  The older your kids get, the bigger Carp flag you fly.  Like I said, it is amazing to see.  Our family would fly two blue and a pink this year, but I cannot help but be overjoyed with the thought that next year will be significantly different.  How awesome would it be for our family to be flying seven flags outside our house next year.  How amazing would it be for our kids to come home in time to celebrate Kodomo no hi in Japan?

May 5th, 2012 marked the end of our time in the Air Force.  God called us to move on from the military and move into full time ministry.  I remember the weeks and months leading up to this date.  We were scared and excited all at the same time.  We were not sure what to expect, since the only thing we really knew as adults was the Air Force.  We were leaving the security of our base, the friends we had made, and the culture we had come to love.  We were doing this because God called us to it.  We didn't know what we were getting in to, but we knew that God was doing something.

Our friends, family, and coworkers thought we were nuts.  The economy was extremely bad and I had no transferable skills outside of the military.  I hadn't graduated with my degree yet.  But, it didn't matter.  We were going to be obedient to God's calling in our life.  He has blessed us beyond measure since that time.  We have an amazing support system here in Okinawa, where we are surrounded with people who love us and take care of us.  We now have people that we considder family all around the world.  People we know we can call when we need them, and people we know are praying for us constantly.

God has called us to adopt, and we are following through with that call.  Through this process He has blessed us every step of the way.  He has shown His grace and mercy in our lives as we work through the hardships of adopting while overseas.  Words cannot describe how amazed I am at His faithfulness.  When He call's you to do something, He blesses you for answering that call.

Cinco de Mayo...well, I'm not even sure why we (Americans) celebrate this day.  It would be like celebrating June 12 (Philippine Independence Day), which makes more sense for our family.  But, at least I get to eat some guacamole today...after I learn how to make it...

We still need people to come alongside us and help us with this adoption.  We are not done yet!  I have an update about what is going on with the process (coming soon), but in the mean time, if you would like to help us raise funds to bring our kids home, please click HERE.

April Update

A little bit of peace in the process of adoption.

Wow, it has been a long time since I posted something on this blog!  There has been so much going on that I don't even know where to start!

A couple weeks ago we had our interviews for the homestudy, and I must say that I talk a lot less than my wife! :)  The social worker came and asked a lot of questions of everyone in the family, to include our youngest (3 years old).  She has to ask all these questions so that when she writes the homestudy she can capture who our family is in just a short document.  That is a hard task and she has a ton of pressure because this is what the government gets to determine whether or not we can adopt.

When we were done with the interviews we had to hand over all the papers that we had been gathering (like a squirrel gathers nuts for winter), which was bittersweet.  This package was what we were holding on to with this adoption.  It allowed us to see and measure our progress, and now it is gone.  Now we only measure our progress by the amount of time we are waiting at each of the next steps.  The long part begins.

Funny story about one of the papers we were waiting on - the guardianship form.  This one document is the form that we have to give to the adoption agency that indicates who we want to take care of our kids (all of them) in the case that we should pass away.  Our will indicates some of our best friends in the world to take care of our children, but that was written when we only had three kids.  Now we are talking about 7, and things are not quite the same.  It is not an easy thing to say: 'Yes, I can take care of all 7 of your kids until they are all grown adults!"  Needless to say, our friends needed some time to pray about it and they decided that they could do it.

Our family 3 years ago on Easter Sunday.
We're praying that next year's family photo
will have 7 kids in it!

Now that all that is done we begin to reflect on this Easter and what it means to us and our family.  We have redemption in Christ because of His substitutional sacrifice on the cross.  We were bought with a price and then given the free gift of His grace.  Our lives are radically changed because of this (if you have known me for more than 10 years, you know that this it completely true!).  With this radical change in mind I cannot help but think about our kids that are not home yet.

We have been redeemed in Christ, but what is it going to look like when they come home and are redeemed from their current situation?  I have peace that they are being taken care of and provided for right now, but how radically different is their life going to be?  I know that these radical difference are going to lead to things that are hard to deal with, since we are ripping them from their culture and the life that they have known.  That is not going to be an easy thing to process, but man, the beauty that is eventually going to come from this.  Redemption is a messy thing, but it is so worth it!

Our family has been so incredibly blessed through this entire process.  People from all over the world have been sending us encouragement and helping us raise the funds for this process.  One of our teens actually started making hair bows and selling them (in complete secrecy) and raised a substantial amount of money that she gave us yesterday.  I was so overwhelmed at the gesture that I had no words.  I was and continue to be amazed at how God is working through all of these things to bring our kids home!  Please continue to pray for us, and if you feel led to help financially, click HERE.  God bless, and thank you to everyone who is helping, even if it is just reading this blog!

Same, Same...but Different

A couple weeks ago we started our 'Adoption Learning' classes.  When we started I was thinking to myself that there were going to be boring and there was no way that I was going to learn anything.  Guess what?!?!  I was right, to a certain degree.  They are boring...like really boring.  But, to their benefit I have learned a thing or two.

While going through these courses I began to think about Henry, who we adopted when he was just under 3 months old.  He is Japanese (as you can probably tell from the picture), but he has never lived in a Japanese home.  He has never lived with a Japanese family, nor lived a Japanese lifestyle.  I think every day he begins to look more and more like the other kids, and he would never guess that he was any different.  It is funny to think about because when we were going through the process of adoption we were asked if we were going to tell Henry that he was adopted.  Both Gretchen and I thought:  "Umm....I think he'll know..."  We may have to reconsider that line of thinking...

There are some things about him that really make me think about what life is going to be like when we have American, Japanese, and Filipino children in our home.  I mean, Henry loves, I mean loves, Japanese food.  He eats rice with everything (which is strange because I don't really care for sticky rice).  I am amazed at how Japanese Henry actually is, since he has never been around that influence.

When our little ones come home they are going to bring with them so much cultural stuff that we cannot even begin to understand.  Henry doesn't speak Japanese (sometimes I think he might be speaking Japaneses because I cannot understand what he is saying), but these kids are going to speak Tagalog.  Not only are they going to speak it, Tagalog is going to be their heart language.  We are going to have to learn to speak it.  They will learn English, but that does not excuse us from learning their language.

It is a good thing that I like Filipino food, because when they finally come home they are not going to want to eat steak.  They are going to want something familiar!  We are going to have to really step up our game when it comes to cooking ethnic food.  While the waiting sucks, I rejoice that we still have a little time to learn some more about their culture.  I want them to come to a home, not just another place to live.  I do not want to separate Henry from his Japanese culture and I do not want these kids to lose theirs either.

Please be praying for us in this.  And, if you are one of the people who will get to meet and spend time with our family after the kids come home, please look into Filipino culture as well.  It will give us a great deal of peace to know that our friends and family around the world are lovingly accepting our kids even now, before them come home to us.

Provision

I have been amazed at how fast time is going by.  I cannot believe that it has been several weeks since my last blog post!  I knew going into this adoption that the two hardest things for me were going to be the waiting and the money.  God has been so faithful to us in both of these things.

Time really has flow by.  I feel like just yesterday I was celebrating a birthday with my little lady, but the reality is that was over three weeks ago.  We have been keeping a busy schedule with events and visitors, which has caused us to lose track of time a little bit.  One huge event was an adoption panel that our church hosted a couple weeks back.  We brought in some professionals, who actually know what they are doing and talking about, to give the church some information on adoption.  This panel was something that I really worried about (I thought nobody would show up on a Friday night to listen to people talk about adoption).  It was a great success though.  There were about 120 people there and we heard some great truths, such as:  not everyone is called to adopt, but we are all called to take care of widows and orphans in their time of distress, and to keep ourselves unstained by the world.  We were challenged to look at what we are doing to help the orphan, which was a great challenge to be given.  You can here more here.

God has put many people in our lives to help us with the money piece of our adoption.  We knew going into this that we could not do this on our own.  We knew that we would need faithful men and women to come along side us and help us out.  This week we were informed that a friend of ours was going to be helping us raise some money.  Her goal is to raise $1,000 this month by taking donations of stuff that people no longer need, and selling it.
She puts a lot of time into this, going through things, pricing them, and meeting with people.  The reality is:  this is not the first time she has done something like this.  She is constantly supporting ministries and missions.  Her heart is made of gold.

Our parents have also raised money for us through friends and Tupperware sales.  Through networking and friends they were able to raise money to help support bringing our kids home.  With all this help we are slowing inching closer to our goal.

Gretchen is also making hand stamped jewelry, which is pretty cool!  Check out what she has made:
Through this business venture she has raised quite a bit of money to help cover many of our costs.

God has provided us these things at just the right time.  All of the things that are needed for this adoption cost money, but God has provided that money through each of you.  You can help support our adoption by clicking HERE.

Just to add an update about our progress:  We have done all of the psychiatric testing (1 billion question test and 1 275 question test) and we are just waiting on our write up.  We have received almost all the documents that we were waiting on and have our first interviews scheduled for tomorrow.  So, Gretchen and I have our individual interviews tomorrow, followed by our family interview and home inspection.  Once that is done, we wait on the homestudy to be written.  One step closer every day!  Thank you for following us through this process and praying all along the way.

Birthdays and Praises

6th birthday celebration.

The other day I had the amazing privilege of spending the morning with my newly six year old daughter.  It was an awesome morning where I took her out for breakfast followed by a walk on the beach to look for sea shells.  Gretchen took her to get her nails done, and then she had to head off to school.  Later that afternoon Gretchen and I went to her class and spent time teaching them how to make rubber band bracelets.  The day was just amazing, but it did get me thinking.

I was not able to be home when Hayden was born.  I was at military training and simply could not make it home in time for his birth.  I remember that day very well.  I was standing in morning formation when I got the phone call telling me that Gretchen was in labor.  It would be 12 hours before I was able to hold Hayden for the first time.  My life changed at that moment almost 10 years ago.

What daddy does best.

When Gretchen was pregnant with Hannah I was gone all the time.  There was not one single month of her pregnancy that that I was able to be home for, but I was able to be there for her birth.  This was a completely different experience for me (there are a lot of funny stories here...for a later date).  It was an amazing thing to hold her for the first time, and again my life changed.

Henry was born a couple years later.  This time, neither Gretchen nor I were there.  He was born some 700 miles away from his family.  From the hospital he went into a foster home, where he would wait until God gave him to us.  After 2-1/2 months in foster care he came home, arriving on my 25th birthday.  Holding him for the first time reminded me of holding Hayden for the first time.  God had gifted our family with another son.

Henry 10 days after he came home.

I also began to think about the children that God has yet to bring home to our family.  Who have already been born and spent many birthdays away from their family.  Maybe they spent them in an orphanage or living on the streets.  Maybe they did not even know that it was their birthday because they did not have someone there to tell them.  I realize that I was not there for their birth, but that does not make me any less their father.  One day, God will bring them home to us, and I will hold them as my children for the first time.  I cannot wait to celebrate that day.

We are moving closer and closer to them coming home.  We have found a place on island where we can have our psych evaluations and testing done, which is a huge answer to prayer.  We have also collected 80% of all the required items, which means we can now schedule our home study with the social worker. Our goal is to be 100% done with our paperwork and interviews by the end of March, God willing.

We continue to raise funds and seek out prayers from our friends and family.  Through these things we have seen God provide for us in every way imaginable, which is a ton of fun. :)

 If you would like to help us adopt, you can find more information and give HERE.

Two Mites

I have been constantly amazed of the past month with how much people have loved us.  Our family has felt love from all around the world.  People we have not talked to in many years, and in some cases, people we have never met, have been encouraging us on this adoption.  It could not have come at a better time.

When we first started putting together our paperwork things seemed like they were going by so quickly.  But, as time went on, things feel like they have slowed down.  Right now, as we wait for things to arrive in the mail and translations to finish, we are still encouraged and looking forward to the weeks/months to come.

In Luke 21 we have an account of a widow who gave two mites as an offering to the temple.  This seemingly insignificant offering Jesus said was more significant than that of the rich men of the time because this women gave all that she had for the glory of God.

I feel like this is how people are giving to help support our adoption.  I feel like there is not an abundance to go around, but some how people are finding a way to help support us.  It amazes me to see how incredibly gracious people and God are toward us.

So, this blog post is dedicated to each of you, who in one way or another have supported this adoption.  We have felt the prayer from all around the world, and we have seen the power of God displayed throughout this entire process thus far.  Thank you for giving, even when there is not much to give.  It really humbles me.  God bless.

P.S. - I look forward to being able to write an update about where we are in the adoption process...as soon as we make some progress... :)

One Month Down

Well, it is February already and things have been pretty quiet.  We have been working on our checklist and slowly chipping away on the huge amount of paperwork that we need to get done.  In less than 30 days we were able to get over half of the checklist done, which is amazing to us.  We are very excited to finish this phase of the adoption.

Over the past month we have begun fundraising, which has been fun, yet stressful.  We cannot apply for any of the grants that are offered yet because our homestudy has not been finished, which is something that we are looking forward to.  Gretchen has started her home based business Stamped & Sealed, making custom stamped jewelry.  We are making custom designs for people and giving them out for donations only, and we have been amazed at what people are giving.

We are also fundraising through AdoptTogether and have been amazed at people's outpouring of love that they have shown to us.  Friends, family, and people we have never met have given to help us adopt!  All of this to say that one of the biggest worries that people have, including us, when adopting is being taken care of by faithful men and women all over the world.  God is providing for us through each one of you, and I want to personally say 'Thank you!'

We have been doing a lot lately to help keep our mind occupied.  Last week we hosted an Orphan Night, where we watched the documentary Stuck and had a time of fellowship with others who are in the process of adoption, or just thinking about how they might be able to have an impact on orphan ministry.  This was a nice event where we were able to talk to others about what they are going through.  Very encouraging.

We are also planning an Adoption Panel, where we will have several people talk about the adoption process.  This is designed to help people see that they can adopt, as well as answer any questions that people might have.  We have made an online form (here) where people can submit questions to be answered.  These questions will help us form and shape the panel discussion.  This is something that we are also very excited about, and we hope that we can reach a lot of people with this event.

All these things to help us keep our occupied.  There is a bit of anxiety while we wait for our kids to come home.  We are constantly wanting more information about the process and things that we can be working on, but there doesn't seem to be anything at this point.  We know that this is going to be a long process, and we are prepared and willing to wait, but we also want our kids to be home...now!

You're Crazy!

We know a lot of people who are adopting right now.  I am amazed at what God is doing in the people at our church.  He has drawn so many people to this process of adoption, and despite all the hardships that come with international adoption they are all following His calling for their family.  But even with this 'adoption culture' people are still amazed that we are adopting.  Or maybe they are amazed that we want to adopt four kids!

We have heard so many different things about God's calling for us to adopt four kids.  Below are just a few of my favorite.  I hope some of them at least make you smile! :)

   1. Four?  Like, you want to have a total of four kids, or you want to adopt four more kids?
Really, this is the standard response I have heard.  I guess I understand part of the question/response.  I mean, it is true that we already have three kids, and if we adopt a child we will have four.  And honestly, this is what I was thinking when I started thinking about adoption again.  Four is an even number, so that is good, right?
I have learned over the past few years that our plans are not always the best.  I have heard it said (many times) that if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.  Our plans always sound good to us, but God is so much greater than our plans.  And to that point, His plans for me are so much greater than anything I could think up, which my entire life can attest to!  So, here is the reality:  I planned to adopt one child, but God called our family to pursue four more children.

  2. You're adopting?!  Wow, you're such nice people.
 I really do not know how to respond to this one.  I mean, Thanks, I guess.  The reality is, we are not nice people.  We are depraved human beings, just like the rest of the world.  Scripture is pretty clear that all men are sinners.  The Truax family is not exempt from that.  We are not any better than anyone else.  There is a difference though:  we are being obedient to God's call in our lives.  So, I guess the response to people with this reaction is:  We're not nice, we're obedient. 
*Something that I would like to note here is that we are not adopting out of 'Christian obligation'.  We do not think that this is something that we have to do as Christians.  However, we do know that scripture is pretty clear that the Follower is to take care of widows and orphans.  This can look different for every person.  Not all families are called to adopt, but all are called to help take care of orphans.  Maybe you are one of those families.  You can help take care of orphans by helping those that are called to adopt.  You can support them through prayer and encouragement.  Believe me, these go a long way!

  3. What are you going for, a baseball team?
Umm, yes.  That was exactly our intent when we answered God's call!  I am sure that is what He had in mind to.  Maybe we can talk to the MLB and see if we can set up the Truax franchise baseball team.  We'll start marketing memorabilia next week! 
Really, I think what is happening here is that people are poking fun at us.  Oh well!

   4. You're adopting?!  That is great.  I wish I could adopt.  We are just not ready yet.
Honestly, you are never ready to adopt.  If you put off adoption until you are ready, it will never happen.  Adoption takes a lot of faith.  When you adopt you bring into your life a life.  You introduce a child into your established family...no one is ready for that.
That does not mean that you should not prepare for adoption.  I can not tell you how many people we have talked to and sought council from.  We have read more blogs than I'd like to admit, and we have books coming out of the wazoo. We have been saving money and researching fundraising ideas.  We have talked with our parents, who are also researching and fundraising with us (our parents are such a blessing to us!).
No one is ready, but if God is calling you to adopt you really should start the process.  And remember, because of that wonderful thing called the Hague Convention, international adoption takes years!

   5. Four?  You're crazy!
I guess it is a good thing that my blog is titled Faithfully Crazy.  I mean, I was crazy once...
I think I have said it a time or two, but we know that God is calling us to adopt four kids.  We had to learn when we were getting out of the Air Force that some people just do not understand this.  Over two years ago now we felt God calling us to get out of the military.  He was calling us to give up the security of a paycheck, medical care, retirement, a house, and so many other things, and to trade all of it for an uncertain job market and no house.  It was hard to follow that call.  We prayed about it for a long time, and time and time again He would faithfully reaffirm His call for us.  Here it is, two years later, and I cannot count the blessing that God has given us because we obeyed Him.
I know what people are saying.  I get it!  When people say something like this to us, what they mean (I think) is that it is going to be incredibly hard to bring home four kids and integrate them into our family.  If you are one of those people who said this (or maybe just thought it), I want to thank you.  I know that you are concerned for us, and for the kids that we are going to be bringing home.  I also know that God has given us an amazing support system here and back in the states.  He would not call us to this journey if He did not know that we could do it.
Or, maybe they actually think that we are crazy...

90 Days and Counting

Yesterday we had our first meeting with our social worker.  This meeting took an hour and a half and it was almost completely about paperwork.  Things that we will have to fill out and things that we will have to get done some time in the next 90 days.  It was a bit overwhelming looking at everything that we will have to do on such a short time table.  When we were looking at the things that take 6-8 weeks to complete we quickly realized that we really need to start on this stuff like....last week.

The meeting with our social worker was actually quite pleasant.  I was worried that we were going to have to fight with her and constantly try to demonstrate the right 'image' in front of her in order to get her to write the right things on the home study.  But, based on our initial meeting, we are really feeling like things are going to go as planned.  It is funny how quickly we doubt what God has called us to do.  The call from the Lord was so clear that it kicked us into action immediately, and as soon as things were looking like they might be hard we began to question and compromise the calling.

We know that God is calling us to adopt four children from the Philippines, and as soon as we thought about the possibility that we might not get approved by our social worker for four children, we compromised.  "Maybe God was just trying to get us moving, and we should just try for siblings sets from 2-4" we thought.  God confirmed His calling to us with our social worker.  Everything looks like we are going to be approved for up to four kids!

So here is the process:
We have 90 days to get all 32 items on our checklist.
Once we have everything together, we will have a homestudy.  This is a series of interviews and home visits, where the social worker observes our life.
Once we are done with the interviews and home visits, we wait for the social worker to write her report.  This takes a couple of weeks, as the report can be 20 pages long.
Once the report is written, we get together some more information and put together our dossier.  I am not really sure how long this part takes.
Once our dossier is prepared, we send it in to be authenticated and approved.
Once it is approved we wait to be matched with our kids.  We will be adopting off of the special homes findings list, so on this step we get to 'pick' our kids.
Once we 'pick' our kids, the agency sends everything to ICAB, where they will match our family with said children (hopefully).
Once we are matched, we then wait for the Filipino government to get together all the paperwork and visas and what-not.  This part can take up to six months.
Once all that is done, we head to the PI to pick up our kids.
In all, we are looking at 16-24 months before we can bring home our children.

For all this to happen, we have to get step one done.  As our 90 day countdown begins we are left with a lot of responsibility.  We not only have a ton of paperwork to complete, we have a ton of money to raise.  This is something that we cannot do on our own, as it is literally my entire yearly salary to pay for this adoption.  Gretchen is starting a home based business to help raise funds, which our prayer is that it will generate a significant amount of income (isn't that everyone's prayer?).  On top of that, we would love if our friends and family (really anyone else, too) would join us and help raise these funds.  If you would like to give, please click  here.  You could also share this link with all of your fiends, as they may be looking for some way to help out.

If you cannot help financially, we understand!  But there is something that you could do.  Prayer is an amazingly powerful tool that we have, and we would love if you would pray for us.  Not only pray for this adoption, but also pray for our kids that are not home with us yet.  We need this entire process to be covered in prayer, and each of you can help with that.

I leave you with a picture of our family.  Imagine how this photo will look with four beautiful Filipino faces in there with us.  You can help bring our kids home.

No Wonder it is Called 'PaperWORK'

I have learned that the most discouraging thing when it comes to international adoption is the cost.  Honestly, I am right there with you.  It looks overwhelming.  I do not know many, if any, people who happen to have $35k just sitting around.  To be honest again, you will get over the cost.  You will realize that there are a ton of grants and fundraising opportunities out there to help you raise funds.  Also, when you realize that the average American pays this amount for a car, you will see it as a little more handleable.  If the cost is really something you cannot get over, please send me a message and I will talk with you about your options.

There is something that I cannot get over.  It seems like someone out there thought it would be a good idea to discourage international adoption by the cost, and then, just in case not everyone was turned away, then comes the paperwork.

Let's take a look at a couple things that must be done...

1. Criminal background check.  This process is not as easy as it sounds.  You must have fingerprints done and sent in to the FBI.  After that, it take 6-8 weeks to get the results back.  So, if you mess up on the fingerprints the first time, double that.  Oh yea, they expire every 18 months (silly, right?).  Recommendation:  Get your fingerprints done professionally, twice!  Send it two sets, just in case.
2. Child abuse and neglect checks.  These have to be done for every state you have lived in since turning 18.  If you have only ever lived in one town, this might be a little easier, but for a military family, this sucks!  I have lived in 3 states and two countries over the last 10 years.  Wouldn't the FBI criminal background check cover this?
3. Original marriage and birth certificates.  For a family that has moved around a lot, this could be an issue.
4.  Tax returns.  They want a copy of the first page of your last three tax returns.  But, they also want proof of earned income for the last 10 years.  To prove that, they want the first three pages of your last 10 years tax return.  These are two separate things...again, silly.
5.  Copies of any previous home studies.  For families that have adopted or fostered before, this sucks.  We have had a few home studies done...I think I know where we put those.

So, these are just a few things that have been irritating me.  I really thought that once we got over the money thing, we would be in the clear.  I mean, our first adoption went so quick... HA!  I've learned that no two adoptions are the same.  Even if you follow in our exact footprints, it will be different for you.

Some things that have been encouraging:
I have spent a lot of time in the Word lately.  John 14:18 says "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."  Jesus is telling His followers that when He leaves, not only will He send the Holy Spirit to comfort us, He will also return.  This has been encouraging to me on many fronts.  I have felt a great burden for our kids that are not at home with us yet.  Kids that we have had to leave because we have not adopted them yet.  I have stressed about where they are sleeping and weather or not anyone has told them that they are loved.  Then, I am comforted, knowing that Jesus too had to leave us.  We can say the same words that He did:  "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."  In that same chapter of John Jesus says "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you".  The truth is, Christ alone is our peace, even in this time of stress.

Some of our good friends were able to bring home their daughters this week.  I was there when mom arrived  to surprise the girls, and I was also there when the girls were told that they have a family.  We have walked through this journey with them, and it seemed long at the time.  Looking back, I am encouraged because the whole ordeal was worth it.  I look at them and think that one day, hopefully in the near future, that family will be us.  And all of you can say the same things I just said.

The Waiting 'Game'

Have you ever waited for a pot of water to boil?  I mean, it sounds so simple.  Boiling water is quick and easy, that is, until you watch it happen.  Then, the six minute process feels like eternity.  After a could minutes you begin to see little bubbles forming on the bottom of the pan, and you think "we're almost there!" and then, nothing.  A few minutes later a little more hope, but still no boiling water.  Honestly, I typically get impatient and I put whatever I needed to cook into the water early.  I am not known for my patience.

When we adopted Henry the lady we were working with probably hated me.  I told Gretchen all the time that she needed to call and check in on the process.  I wanted to know where we were and what was going on.  I probably told her to call several times a day.  Sometimes I would tell her to call a couple hours after she got off the phone with them.  Some things never change.

Now I can't call the adoption agency every day (thanks to the time change, something I am sure AAI is thankful for!).  Now, each night I sit by my computer and wait for an email.  To me, it feels a lot like waiting for that water to boil, only on this I cannot cheat and start early.  Well, last night we got an email, and we have a small reason to celebrate.

Next week we will have our initial meeting with our social worker.  She is going to explain everything to us about the home study process.  Our prayer is that at this meeting we will be given some things that we can do to help us pass the time, such as finger prints, mental evaluations, physicals, FBI background checks, you know, all the things we know we have to get done but we cannot do yet...boiling water.

God is amazing though.  This lady goes to our church.  She said about 75% of the people that she is currently working with are associated with Koza in one way or another.  I have been amazed at the things God is doing at and through Koza.  A culture of adoption is something we have been praying about for a long time now.  It something that we do not want to stop.  If any of you are interested in adoption, let me know.  I will talk with you and help explain the process as best as I can.

Please continue to pray for us, as we hope to begin fundraising soon.  We are waiting on some paperwork from AAI before we can officially begin, but Gretchen has been working through a billion fundraising ideas.  God bless, and please continue to sit by your computer waiting on a update from us...waiting for the water to boil. :)

Called

A few years ago my wife and I felt the call to adopt.  We knew that God was telling us to adopt, but we didn't do anything about it.  We would constantly run into people who had adopted or were in the process of adoption, but we kept putting it off.  The more we put it off, the more we felt God calling us to start the process.  Finally, after running from it for a long time, we started the process.  The adoption process with Henry felt hard and stressful.  We would go days without phone calls, and it felt like eternity.  About 4 months after we started the adoption we were placed with our beautiful son.

Fast forward a couple years... After going to the Philippines a couple of times on missions trips I started feeling the call again.  I was drawn to Filipino children, but I had heard that if we were trying to adopt from the PI we should not travel there, as it would hinder the adoption process (silly Hauge Convention).  I did not want to stop going on missions trips to the PI, so I put off adoption.  I LOVED being there and serving the people there.  I did not want to give that up (there are a lot of I's there, aren't there?)

Fast forward again, this time to a couple of months ago.  I had a dream about some kids that I know in the PI.  They were being adopted to a forever family.  Normally, this is a time of great celebration, but for some reason I was very sad.  These four kids were going home to their family, and I was sad.  When the youngest asked why I was crying, I told her that it was because I was happy for her, but I knew that was not the reason.  I was sad because someone else was adopting these kids.  These four particular kids were not even available for adoption.  They were living in an orphanage because their mother could not take care of them.  God is using them to get me to move.  I know that somewhere out there God has my kids.  They are waiting on us to move forward with the adoption.  So, we did.
     We put in our application to adopt with Adopt Abroad Inc the other night.  We are stepping out on faith.  We do not have the money together, but we know that we cannot wait any longer.  The application is in, and I will keep you all updated throughout the process.