I have learned that the most discouraging thing when it comes to international adoption is the cost. Honestly, I am right there with you. It looks overwhelming. I do not know many, if any, people who happen to have $35k just sitting around. To be honest again, you will get over the cost. You will realize that there are a ton of grants and fundraising opportunities out there to help you raise funds. Also, when you realize that the average American pays this amount for a car, you will see it as a little more handleable. If the cost is really something you cannot get over, please send me a message and I will talk with you about your options.
There is something that I cannot get over. It seems like someone out there thought it would be a good idea to discourage international adoption by the cost, and then, just in case not everyone was turned away, then comes the paperwork.
Let's take a look at a couple things that must be done...
1. Criminal background check. This process is not as easy as it sounds. You must have fingerprints done and sent in to the FBI. After that, it take 6-8 weeks to get the results back. So, if you mess up on the fingerprints the first time, double that. Oh yea, they expire every 18 months (silly, right?). Recommendation: Get your fingerprints done professionally, twice! Send it two sets, just in case.
2. Child abuse and neglect checks. These have to be done for every state you have lived in since turning 18. If you have only ever lived in one town, this might be a little easier, but for a military family, this sucks! I have lived in 3 states and two countries over the last 10 years. Wouldn't the FBI criminal background check cover this?
3. Original marriage and birth certificates. For a family that has moved around a lot, this could be an issue.
4. Tax returns. They want a copy of the first page of your last three tax returns. But, they also want proof of earned income for the last 10 years. To prove that, they want the first three pages of your last 10 years tax return. These are two separate things...again, silly.
5. Copies of any previous home studies. For families that have adopted or fostered before, this sucks. We have had a few home studies done...I think I know where we put those.
So, these are just a few things that have been irritating me. I really thought that once we got over the money thing, we would be in the clear. I mean, our first adoption went so quick... HA! I've learned that no two adoptions are the same. Even if you follow in our exact footprints, it will be different for you.
Some things that have been encouraging:
I have spent a lot of time in the Word lately. John 14:18 says "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." Jesus is telling His followers that when He leaves, not only will He send the Holy Spirit to comfort us, He will also return. This has been encouraging to me on many fronts. I have felt a great burden for our kids that are not at home with us yet. Kids that we have had to leave because we have not adopted them yet. I have stressed about where they are sleeping and weather or not anyone has told them that they are loved. Then, I am comforted, knowing that Jesus too had to leave us. We can say the same words that He did: "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." In that same chapter of John Jesus says "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you". The truth is, Christ alone is our peace, even in this time of stress.
Some of our good friends were able to bring home their daughters this week. I was there when mom arrived to surprise the girls, and I was also there when the girls were told that they have a family. We have walked through this journey with them, and it seemed long at the time. Looking back, I am encouraged because the whole ordeal was worth it. I look at them and think that one day, hopefully in the near future, that family will be us. And all of you can say the same things I just said.
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