Sweetly Broken

Sometimes I forget just how broken this world actually is.  I spent the last part of July leading a mission's team in the Philippines, where I was reminded almost daily of this fact.  The last full day there broke me in a way that words cannot even describe.  We started the day in Malabon (I'll tell you more about this place later) but it was not the normal outreach.  There was a typhoon overhead, so we only brought medical supplies.  No crafts, no music, no food, just medical relief.  This is how I knew that Ate was going to push my limits today.  I don't do blood.  I don't do guts.  And I have no compassion....normally.

One of the men that we prayed for in Malabon.  He has TB and will
soon die if God does not provide a miracle.

We were walking around and Ate was doing her normal medical relief type stuff, and then something strange happened.  Ate was being led by someone I did not know, to a place I have never been before.  We walked down winding 'roads' until we reached the house of a teenage boy.  A boy dying of TB.  He was so far along in the disease that even medicine only gave him 50/50 odds at living.  This boy needed more that meds, he needed a miracle.  He was 16 years old, and dying.  Ate asked one of our teens and me to come and pray for this boy.  This was the second time in a week that I had to pray for someone that was going to die without a direct miracle from God.  The words were still not there.  My mouth opens with emptiness coming out.  'This can only last for so long before words come' I tell myself.  Then my heart opens and the words come, not my words, but His.  This will happen once more this morning.
Coming home from Malabon completely humbled left me feeling like a complete wreck.  All I wanted to do was go into my room and sleep and cry, but I couldn't.  There was still work to be done, and I had teenagers to look after.  We decided that we needed a break and headed up to McD's for some ice cream.  When we arrived home is when my life was changed forever.  On the front porch was Ate with a baby in here arms and a young women sitting next to her.  At first glance I put the baby at 6 months old.  Not wanting to be the strange person, breathing down the neck of a young women, I decided to head up to the apartment.  I knew that Ate would eventually bring this little girl up, and I would get to hear her story.  And it happened.

After her first bath...

Ate brings this little girl in and asks if I want to hold her, which I do.  I put her into my arms and feel her frail body.  She is in clothes made for a toddler (it seems) and her skin looks like it is just falling off the bones.  Ate tells me that she is 13 months old and I fight back the tears.  We take off her clothes and prepare her for a bath, something I don't know she has ever had.  Ate weighs her before the bath and she is a mere 14lbs.  I have to fight the tears even more now.
I helped bath her and put on diaper rash cream on places that I did not think could ever be fixed.  We dressed her in clothes that fit and Ate began to make her some food... presumably her first real meal.  She did not know how to chew...13 months old, with no teeth and she didn't even know how to chew.  Again with the tears. 

Ate wanted me and Phillip to take care of this little miracle; neither of us knew what to do.  She has cerebral palsy and it caused seizures...quite often.  I remember the first one she had while I was holding her.  I was standing by the window and she had just smiled like nothing that I had ever seen before.  When the seizure started her entire body locked up.  I did not know what to do and just tried to sooth her.  Ate said they were so bad because of the dehydration.  I could no longer fight the tears.  Phillip and I took care of her the entire night.  The next morning we left with many questions unanswered, not knowing what was going to happen to this little princess.  We know we left her in good hands.  Ate has a good track record, and God will take care of her.
I was broken over this girl.  How could her mother let her go so long without food?  How could she not see what was happening to her little girl?  Why would someone do this?  I saw the mother, she was not malnourished...how could her daughter be?  How could diaper rash get this bad without someone doing something?  Why didn't anyone do something sooner?
I left there broken, but I still didn't realize just how broken our world was.  It wasn't until I got home that I realized that.  When I got how I went back to life, and I started to see that each of us are broken in some way.  I had compassion for people that I never had before.  Now, I am not saying that I am the most compassionate person in the world now, because I am not, but my life is different.  I hurt for people now, especially those whom no one else is hurting for.  They need compassion...they deserve it.  Christ had compassion for the world!  How can I not do the same?